Gaja Noto
by monkeylamp
Summary: Light finds a magical notebook called the Gaja Noto, the Gay Note.


In the world of the homokami, a bronze figure looked from atop an azure mountain. Existentially bored with his existence, he jumped. The wind rushed past him his ears as he yawned.

He unfolded his ebony wings and began to drift lazily on the breeze coming perpetually from the mountains. He landed lightly on the sloping green grass. His golden buskins crushed the dew-heavy grass as he walked across the field.

There were two other winged men in front of him, playing a game of cards.

"I'll wager four days." Said the one on the left. He was tall and slender. He sat naked in the sun, shading himself with his vermillion wings. His friend sat in the grass. Shamelessly spread across the ground, he held his cards over his eyes to blot out the suns in the sky. The emerald grass paled in comparison with his viridian wings as they shone brilliantly in the sun.

"Where are you headed Wilde?" said the man with vermillion wings.

"I lost my note." Wilde said, flexing the muscles in his wings out of nervousness.

"You lost it!" Yelled the man with viridian wings as he sat up suddenly. He tossed his cards to the side as he jumped up.

"Um, don't you need those?" THe man with vermillion wings asked his playmate.

"It doesn't matter, you're never going to win. I'm cheating." He responded without hesitating. "Didn't the boss give you two anyway?" He asked Wilde who looked down at the man with vermillion wings, who looked shocked at his friends blatant disregard for subtlety.

"Yeah, I still have this one." He said, pointing to the one that was strapped over his heart. There was a book on his chest, strapped with leather hands that went around his wide chest and over his shoulders, meeting in a metal ring between his wings. The note was all Wilde wore besides his shoes, and an ell of white cloth rapped around his waste and between his legs, to create the illusion of modesty.

"So, where'd you lose it?" The card players asked in unison.

"The human world." Wilde said, giggling at their shocked expressions. "Now, if you will both excuse me, I need to go find it."

Wilde walked through their game, scattering their cards in the grass. There was a cleft in the grass a few yards ahead. Wilde stood over it and looked down. The stone and dirt went down a few fathoms, before being lost in a swirl of colors. Looking into the rift, Wilde could begin to see faces in the chaos. Each one had a name floating above their head. Wilde smiled at the faces he saw, wondering which one he would posses. He fell forward, closing his wings as he fell so they would not delay his descent into the human world.

Light looked out the window, wishing school would end.

"Light, please translate the next passage." The professor said. "Light, is there something outside more important than class?"

"No sir, I'm sorry." Light apologized as he stood. "This passage has Phaeton beginning his ascent towards the heavens. Already the horses are beginning to strain beneath his weak hand, and he regrets the request he made of his father."

"Thank you, please be seated." The teacher said. "Now, I want everyone to translate the rest of the passage for next class. I want to be done with this section before the test on friday."

Light was not listening. He was looking out the window again. The translation was easy, and he resented being asked to do his classmates work for them. They were already going slow for their benefit. He felt the least the teacher could do was call on someone who would actually need help in translation. That would benefit the class with further instruction and to leave Light alone to use his time as he wanted. He reached into his pocket and fumbled with a metal cross he kept in his pockets.

Light looked out the window, waiting for class to end. As he watched the grass, he saw a vague, black shape begin to appear in the grass. The translucent shape soon became opaque, forming a notebook that appeared to be carelessly left in the grass.

As the class came to a close, Light threw his books into his messenger bag and walked out as quickly as he long legs would carry him. If he tarried, it increased the chance someone who ask him for help. He hunched his shoulders, bracing himself for the sudden gust of fresh air that would hit his face as soon as he left the building.

The notebook was in the grass. Light stood over it for a moment, wondering if he had truly seen it appear out of thin air.

He picked it up and examined it. The deep purple of the cover, almost black, had two words scratched into the surface. The words, "Gaja Noto" were written in silver.

Light put the notebook in his bag and left the courtyard. No one was around to witness the notebook's mysterious arrival, and so no one was there to question Light.

His mind dwelled on his classmates and the mysterious notebook. He was soon sitting in his room, expressionlessly staring at his practice tests. He reached into his bag. The tests were easy, except for one question that required him examine his notes. He removed the Gaja Noto. On the inside cover several paragraphs were written. Each was numbered. Light did not recognized the langauge, but the title of the Gaja Noto was written in several of them.

"What language is this?" He thought aloud. He stood and walked over towards his bookcase. He recognized the language, but could not place any of the words. He abandoned his search through his bookcase, finding nothing that could help him.

Light returned to his chair and began to search for some of the larger words on the internet.

"Every hit is for an Esperanto dictionary." Light mused. "So, the Gaja Noto is in Esperanto. Why would anyone waste their time with a made up language?"

"Hmm, this langauge looks fairly simple. I could learn this without any difficulty. Now, I just need to find the translation for Gaja Noto. Noto means note, that's easy enough. Gaja means gay, and the ending vowel makes the word an adjective. So, it the notebook is a gay one." Light chuckled his own weak joke.

"Now, to start translating the regulejo." Light said, returning to his online dictionary.

"The person who's name is written in this notebook will become gay in forty-five seconds." Light furrowed his brow. The sheer stupidity of such a statement floored him. How can a notebook compel someone to choose to be gay, he could not understand how anyone could believe such nonsense.

The next day, Light reached his house, and walked through the front gate.

He greeted his mother. "Here are my test grades" He said, holding his school report for her to see. He walked up the stairs and shut the door.

"I see you found my notebook." A husky voice said. Light turned around to face the speaker.

There was a man behind him. He was a large man, well muscles limbs met at a perfect, and underdressed, torso. To large wings sprouted from the mans back, drawing a contrast against his spiked blonde hair. He wore nothing but a bit of cloth around his loins, and a single book over his heart, held in place with great leather traps and buckles that ran over the man's chest and met behind his back.

"So, you're the owner of the Gaja Noto?" Light asked, knowing the answer.

"Not anymore. It landed in the human world, and not it belongs to you. It's all yours. My name is Wilde, in case you were curious."

"Oh, I am very curious. I have so many questions. The notebook is amazing, just look at all the good I've done!" Light said, opening the notebook. The first dozen pages were all filled. Light's slim handwriting crossed each page in regular lines, columns of name that he saw fit to write into the notebook.

"I've heard of Gaja Notoj falling into the human world before, but you might be the first to enjoy it so much. I see you've done more than defeat a love rival or ruin an enemy's family life." Wilde said, smiling as he did so.

"This notebook is amazing. It has a strange power, I didn't believe it at first, but I had to try it out for myself. The day I learned what it did, the day my life changed, it was amazing!"

"I'm glad you enjoy it so much." Wilde said, moving towards the boy.

"So, are you here to take the notebook back? Are you going to take me away, and use me for your own perverse pleasure?"

"Of course not. I'm a homokami." Wilde explained. "Where do you people get these ideas. So, what are you doing with your notebook anyway?"

"My notebook? Doesn't it belong to you?" Light asked.

"Not anymore. The instant the notebook touches ground in the human world, it belongs to that world. It's one of the rules" Wilde explained.

"That rule isn't in the front of the book. At least I don't think so."

"No," Wilde said, "it isn't. I didn't even know who would find the notebook. That's why I wrote it in Esperanto. I figured a language like that didn't have a region it belonged to, so it was more interesting that way. Besides, Esperanto is a pretty gay language."

Light though back towards that afternoon, and struggled to explain it to Wilde.

Dismissing the power of the Gaja Noto, Light had turned the notebook aside and turned on the tv. There was a minister on the tv preaching.

"You too can be wealthy! Just pray away your debt, compel the Holy Spirit to turn over the wealth that is your birthright!" The man screamed into his microphone. He was wearing a hawaiian shirt and a lay. He raised his hands and led the congregation in prayer. A woman with large hair joined him on the podium, promoting the power of positive thinking as God turned over wealth at the beck and call of those whom pray.

"Prosperity Gospel? This trash, how can people listen to it?" Light stood and clenched his fists. Light took up his pen and began to tap it angrily against his desk. He turned off the television.

He could not focus. He looked up and saw the Gaja Noto where he left it on the corner of his desk. He reached for it and turned the television back on.

"Reverend Darby Rood." Light said, his eyes glittering darkly. He wrote the man's name in the notebook and waited.

"Your riches are on the way!" The minister sang. He quickly looked up at the choir directory. The minister eyed the directors bleached blonde hair, smiled.

"What was that?" Light said, leaning in closer to the television.

He crouched low and watched the screen again. The minister was behaving differently. He was cold towards his wife.

"Just pray away all of your demons. The demon of poverty! The demon of hunger! The demon of lust! Gay demons are especially vicious! Once they get ahold of you, your plans are over! Always repent when you are afflicted by gayness!" The minister called throughout the stadium. The people clapped their hands as he spoke.

"That's odd. He's teaching them to use God to make money, and suddenly he wants to talk about gay demons?" Light was puzzled by the change of tone in the minister's voice. He turned back to his test, but was unable to study. He needed some fresh air.

Walking down the street, Light made his way to a convenience shop. He walked through the automated door and greeted the man behind the counter. He gathered some new pens, and began to look through the magazine rack. The Gaja Noto was pressed firmly against the muscles of his chest.

"Hey little lady. You need a ride home?" A man outside called to a woman on the street corner. She was carrying two large bags, one in each hand.

"Please, just go away." She said. She was frail, a sleight framed woman who could dissolve into tears without any difficulty.

"What, you need a ride, and I got something you can ride. Here, my friends and I will help you with your sacks, it'll be fine. Friends help each other out, ya know what I'm saying?" The large man on the motorcycle said. He leered at the woman. He leaned forward, and she fell into the arms of his friend who was behind her.

"Hey Shawn, leave some for the rest of us." The man holding her said. The black of their jackets made it hard to see clearly where each man ended and his friend began.

The first man lifted his sunglasses and smiled again at the woman.

"Please, call me by my last name, Rod, it's more appropriate."

"So, I have a name and a face now." Light said. He removed a pen from his pocket and wrote the man's name in the notebook.

The man lunged towards the woman, grabbing her by the shoulder, and threw her to the ground. He reached for his friend's belt buckle, and drew him in for a kiss.

The man he had kissed pulled back, and punched his friend in the face.

"What is wrong with you!" He screamed, kicking the man between the legs. His friends joined in their attacks before they all sped away as red lights appeared within the traffic, marking the arrival of the police.

A security guard had been running towards the scene. He took the beaten man and handcuffed him behind his back.

Wilde grinned as Light told the story.

"I came home that night to find that the minster had stepped down. He decided to leave the ministry. His choir director is gone from the church's website too!"

"That would explain the first two names, but what about everyone else?" Wilde asked, his eyes wide with excitement.

After it happened, I was terrified. I had ruined the lives of at least three people. I led two healthy men into sin and perdition! I stopped eating. Then, I realized. Those men deserved what happened. Maybe it's wrong, and maybe it will cost me my own immortal soul, but I decided it is worth any price."

Wilde flapped his dark wings in amusement as Light's voice gained volume.

"One was a con man, taking donations for false religion. The other was a pig. I shamed a fraudulent minister, and sent a man to jail. The way that man was attacked by his friends, it took something as serious as the notebook for them to see what sort of scum he is! If people will tolerate crimes and injustice, but won't tolerate homosexuality, then I'll use it to my advantage! Soon, only good people will reproduce, only good people will have stable families, and the rest will finally earn the stigma that they should have been shown years ago!"

"That's impressive Light, but what about young people? They are already accepting of gays."

"That will fade in time. They only reason they do now is because they know good people who have chosen that lifestyle. With my new power, I'll make sure no good person would choose to live that way, while those who don't deserve normalcy will be shown for what they really are!" Light said. He raised the notebook over his head with a mad flourish. The light of the setting sun shone in his eyes.

"Do you see the irony in what you are saing, you claim that you believe people choose to be gay, but then you are forcing people to be gay with the power of the notebook. Doesn't that seem strange to you?"

"Not at all. I mean, we all struggle with temptation, I don't make them give into it. Maybe the notebook just increases the temptation. I am sure if the notebook was used on someone strong, it would fail."

"That's all well and good Light, but you do know if you keep obsessing over homosexuality, without having a girlfriend, and you claim that everyone faces this sort of _temptation_, after all while you'll be the only man left on Earth with an ambiguous sexual orientation." Wilde said, giggling as he did so.

"I don't know what you're talking about Wilde. I'm perfectly straight. I mean, I just can't find a nice girl is all, because of all the losers in the world. Girls are really complicated, so I gave up on them. But once all the bad boys are busy trying to kiss each other, there will be plenty of women to go around. Then I can reveal myself!"

"And then what, once you have your new world, perfect in morals and family values, what will you do then?" Wilde asked, crouching down as he spoke. He bowed, mockingly to Light, who grinned as the being lowered himself to his knees.

"I will be the sex god of the new world!" Light exclaimed.

Wilde laughed. "Humans are so fabulous!" Wilde cooed.

In a single, unfurnished room, an unkempt man sat in the light of a computer screen. "We have an assignment for you sir."

The man in the room paced, fidgeting with his white sweatshirt. "I'll take it. It looks interesting."


End file.
